| I Sware Fate Was Dealing with the Wrong Deck |
[27 Jul 2005|05:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Stephen" - Senses Fail |
] |
"I Sware Fate Was Dealing with the Wrong Deck"
Pin hole puncture
A disgrace to the structure
A disgrace
To the structure
A disgrace to what we’ve tried
To build with these shaking hands
We were so nervous
Going into this
You said
This would last forever
But as we embraced
Sharp metal pierced my back
And as I backed away
There was hostility in your eyes
Blood dripping from your hands
You said
That you couldn’t help the way you felt
Couldn’t make up a feeling
You’d be living a lie
These tears (they’ll never mean a thing)
To all that you were
All that I ever wanted from this (was a little bit of friendship)
Not all this pain that you’ve caused
(Stop throwing salt in my wounds)
And every fear
That I’ve kept to myself
Has been realized through you
You reached out
Grabbed my trust so quickly
You’ve hung it out to dry
And I’ll never be so quick
To ever trust again
I’ll keep my feelings tucked away
You won’t be able to
Play off these emotions
You’ll never
See this face this way again
You’ve probably lost
The best thing you’ll ever have
Had the chance to embrace
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| This Situation: You Should Never Look Back |
[27 Jul 2005|02:44am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 gloomy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Ode to the Devil" - Mad Marge and the Stonecutters |
] |
"This Situation: You Should Never Look Back"
Never say never
Say not always but sometimes
We’ve lost touch with who we were
It seems our will to strive
Has been ripped straight from our guts
But
Before this day is over
We need to paint this town red
Let’s make it fucking bleed
Our life lines are getting fainter
They are getting harder and harder to read
So take my hand
We’ll damage the night sky
Before our hearts begin to falter
Take this one chance
(never look back)
Don’t you want this to be
(something you’re proud of)
They said we need to make something
Of our pathetic lives
But how can we
When we’ve never even started to live?
We should pick up where
Generations left off before us
Let’s make something of this
Let’s become what they never
Had the heart to let themselves be
Promise me you’ll never look back
That you’ll never regret this
We’ll paint this town red
We’ll damage this night sky
We’ll put a perminate mark
Into generations to come
Let’s make something of this
Let’s make something
Out of this nothing we’ve been handed
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| Phrases and Dissapointments |
[27 Jul 2005|01:59am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"The City Sleeps In Flames" - Scary Kids Scaring Kids |
] |
"Phrases and Dissapointments"
With each passing phrase
My heart sinks deeper
Retreats deep into my chest
I can’t believe my ears
As the words find there way inside
It’s getting harder to breath
And to keep these tired eyes dry
I’d write down exactly how I felt
If I could find the words to describe
How twisted everything feels inside
It just hurts so much
To know that you’re fine with out me
And I’m falling apart
Holding on to false promises
I’d say goodbye if it meant that I could forget
That none of this would mean a thing
I’d forget if it was easy as saying goodbye
But this mark you left feels so permanent
I wonder how I could be such a fool
To put all my faith in you
To take this trust and keep it with you
I’ve let myself slip
It seems that I’ve fallen a bit too hard
And as I reach up for your hand
You always knock it right back down
And each word that passes from these lips
Sound as insignificant as the next
Your neglection makes me want to die inside
I want to choke on every phrase
That I’ve ever said
The ones that came straight
From deep inside my heart
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| Heart in Hand |
[03 May 2005|06:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 distressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"War all the Time" - Thursday |
] |
"Heart in Hand"
Standing on a dark street corner
With her heart tightly clenched in her first
Her eyes are wide open
They can see the world now
There is blood all over her dress
There’s a whole deep in her chest
She’s been dazed for quite some time now
Stuck deep inside a mess
Every where she turned she saw a blocked exit
No where to go and no one to turn too
She found one solution
Get rid of the one thing that kept her trapped here
As she closed her eyes tight
She clenched her fist and punched open her chest
She broke open her ribs
And slid past her lungs
Taking in a big gasp of air
She ripped out her heart, her biggest handicap
When she opened up her eyes
She saw a bright light shining down upon her
Her eyes blinked and she saw the streetlights
As they glowed on through the night
The town she found herself in was empty
It felt cold and alone
She could hear her heart still beating
As she stood there on the street corner
Her thoughts began to race as she stared out into the empty streets
Opening up she tried to shout
But nothing came out of her shallow lungs
But her heart kept on beating, the sound haunting her dreams
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| Selling the Dream |
[06 Apr 2005|10:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Hall of Mirrors" - The Distillers |
] |
Wow, so here is Part 7. Sorry it took so long, and sorry if it's boring. I needed to get back into the swing of things. Let me know what you think and what you think should happen next. Thanks.
( Selling the Dream )
♥
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| This Doesn't Really Cover It |
[07 Mar 2005|09:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 discontent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Sesame Smeshame" - The Early November |
] |
"This Doesn't Really Cover It"
The ground has been shaking under my feet
This foundation is loose
It's quaking and breaking
And I see you on the other side
With your arms open wide
But they aren't outstretched for me
They're for someone else
I watch them as I see
The fear wiped away from their faces
By your smile and grace
I envy them
For it seems they have taken my place
The one is my reflection
Just stripped of the morals
I'll hold on tight to these rocks
As they crumble and fall
I'll escape to these cracks
The only world that seems to accept me
To welcome me with open arms
The rocks are jagged and stab me as I fall
But at least I can see them
I expect the physical pain
I know this is just a dream
I shake my head to try and open these eyes
But as I hit the rocks
It feels so much like reality
But how could this be?
A world with out you
Is like living in a constant state of hell
I need to wake up
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| "Non-Medicated X" and "There Are No Such Things as Fairy Tales" |
[19 Feb 2005|10:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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yeah, wahtever... |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Castles" - Linus |
] |
“Non-Medicated X”
I walk around alone
With an X carved deep into my heart
It bleeds every time I begin to regret
I’d try sewing it up
But I can’t find enough string
Or a needle with a sharp enough tip
I wish I could walk this path
With someone who understands
But they’ve all forgotten
Their morals at the door
It’s to hard to play along with their game
When everything feels so wrong, it feels so fake
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like
To have a medicated smile
Would I forget everything I’ve ever known?
Would I become everything I’ve never wanted to be?
The air always smells heavily of abused chemicals
I’m suffocating in my own world
Lately I’ve been so urged
To carve X’s down my arm
The more I see them
The stronger I pretend to feel
They make up for what isn’t there
But it’s only a temporary comfort
I’ve heard voices that told me
That it was alright
That they would be here with me
Standing with the same beliefs in hand
But every time I turn around
They are never there, they are never there to sew up this wound
“There Are Not Such Things as Fairy Tales”
Let’s forget all the fairy tales
That they told us when we were children
This life isn’t a story book
There are no happy endings
Prince charming will never
Save the princess from her tower
She’ll swing from her heights
Until a final breath escapes her lungs
The wizard with all his magic
Won’t be able to save this kingdom
His potions were consumed
They created evil hearts
The Queen will be denied her thrown
The common man won’t let her rule alone
They’ll push and shove until she’s on the edge
She’ll plunge into the mote just to escape
Every young prince will choke
On what task is put before him
They will not overcome their obstacles
They’ll drown in their self-torment
Every fairy tale they ever told us
Was a false hope
An unapproachable dream
They are as fake as we make ourselves
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|
| Another Sorry Tale |
[15 Feb 2005|09:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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discontent |
] |
"Another Sorry Tale"
I'm a ghost face
In a nothing town
I am no where
I am nothing
Alone in this room
I will stand
I've got everything to hide
And everything to lose
I've got nothing on my side
I'm afraid of my own kind
And if I asked you
Would you save me?
And if I asked you
Would you set me free?
I'm living in false hopes
I'm surrounded by hatred
I'll turn my back
And fall face first
Into everything you left behind
My feelings they don't exist
Until you feel something
I need to cut these lifelines
Before they're the death of me
And if I asked you
Would you save me?
And if I asked you
Would you set me free?
Am I living for nothing?
Do these chains restrict my breath?
I need to know right now
If it's even worth staying
I could just slit the lifeline
And say goodbye
Just as easily as falling behind
I don't see a purpose
Of me staying here
I'm nothing to anyone
Just figment of my own imagination
And if I asked you
Would you save me?
Would you save me from myself?
And if I asked you
Would you set me free?
Would you set me free form all these self-inflicted miseries?
I know that somewhere
There is a place for me
Where I will feel
That I'm home and not alone
And I know that one-day someone
Will hear all my cries
And I won't feel
Like I'm a burden
And that I fit right in
And if I asked you
Would you save me?
(Of course not I'm worthless)
And if I asked you
Would you set me free?
(Of course not I'm trapped here forever
|
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| "Self Torment" and "Her Romance" |
[14 Feb 2005|04:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Violent" - The Faint |
] |
"Self Torment"
A pin through a frail heart
It's been torn from the start
She's been falling apart
And she feels so alone
She doesn't to be forgotten
But she feels that she is fading from their memories
Her stomach feels sick from all her worries
All these things she puts herself through isn't fair
No one did this
She feel upon the pin herself
No one cause these regrets
She hold her bleeding heart in her own bruised hands
She wonders if everything was perfect
Would she be stuck in such a state?
Would she feel so broken to the point
Where she didn't want to live?
Her heart is broken
She is torn
Broken dreams are scattered on the floor
And the writing on the walls is fading
And nobody did this
She did this to herself
nd nobody did this
She's got to face this on her own
"Her Romance"
She held the cold steel in her shaking hands
It was loaded, just needed to be aimed
Should she shoot for the heart or straight for the head?
Sweat rolls off her eyebrow
As she stares down the barrel
She's caught up in a romance that she can't explain
Every kiss brings steel to her lips
With every heart beat
Another bullet in the chamber
This is her escape
She doesn't hide in a jar of unmarked pills
But if she pulls the trigger
There is a possibility she'll never get a second chance
She stands in front of the mirror day after day
Imagining what it would be like
To have a hole in her chest
With its gushing blood ruining her white dress
She wonders if the pain would echo through her body
Or if it would enter her heart
And escape through her mind
She has some illusion that it's glamorous to die
To take her own life when she says goodnight
And as she stands there
With her fingers shaking as she begins to squeeze the trigger
Her life begins to flash before her eyes
The only love she had every received
Was a cool steel trigger
She thinks there is something romantic
In the way she will go out tonight
Her makeup and hair is set just right
She's dressed to kill
Tonight is her fist and last date
She'll pull that trigger tonight
And lay on the floor
Bleeding her romance dry
She'll take one last look at her own reflection
Then go down with the rest
Love was her destroyer
Not the cold steel barrel
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| Foundation |
[02 Feb 2005|06:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content |
] |
"Foundation"
I feel as if I'm losing my place
The foundation that is holding me up is crumbling
I can't keep my balance in this state
I'm falling to my knees as I'm looking to the sky
The whole time I'm wondering why
I could have sworn they assured me this foundation was sturdy
That it would never break away
They stand turned away with their backs to the fault
As the earth quakcs I feel it all slipping away
There is no ground beneath my feet
I begin my decent to somewhere in between
A place where I'll never be seen or heard from again
When I do make my final fall
I'll clutch on to anything that's left
To save this forgotten life
And I'll never let go I refuse to forget and be the forgotten
I'll keep on holding on even with this salt thrown in my wounds
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| Fragmented |
[30 Jan 2005|05:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 whatever kiddies |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Morningstar" - AFI |
] |
"Fragmented"
You've got this all wrong
Ordinarily I'd be the one to crack the joke
Under these circumstances I feel like shit
Right under your nose
I'm falling apart
Didn't you notice when you lifted up your eyes in my direction?
Everyone denied my existence
And I never thought you would be one to share in their game
Of course I need to remember
For everything that comes with a smile
Goes away with a hole in its chest
Let me be the judge for once
And determine who is wrong here
My silence has been a mystery to me for so many years
Only now do I really see the consequence of speaking my mind
Untie the string that holds us all so close
Rip us apart with all our silent contradictions
So let's take one last look at what we have
Insert a greeting or an ending
Crack the codes to all our problems
Kick a hole into our contradictions
Everyone is falling apart, we are losing our beginning
Never again
Shall I just trust so easily
My world has lost its true meaning
End now before it's too late
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|
| Knocking on Conflict's Door |
[25 Jan 2005|07:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
...I friggen rule!... |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Headfirst for Halos" - My Chemical Romance |
] |
Oh man, so here is part 6. I know a some of the dialog is somewhat cheesey, but it works for the moment. Let me know what you think. Thanks.
( Kocking on Conflict's Door )
♥
|
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| Are You Listening? |
[21 Jan 2005|12:43am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
friggen emo |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Wind-Up" - Thursday |
] |
"Are You Listening?"
Do you hear me?
I said, are you fucking listening?
I've got so many things on my mind
And a limited vocabulary to express myself with
And when I finally put these words together
You're too far away to show that you care
Your ears are plugged with silence
I have to write down almost everything
That I've tried to say
I've had to twist the words
To try and make you understand
But I don't think you ever read
Your eyes are just as closed
As your delicate ears
If I stood here with a noose around my neck
And a knife to my wrists
Would you finally lift up your head?
Do I have to break apart to get you to see
That I've got things to share
Some well thought out phrases
Formed into some type of statement
Or would I have to sing my own requiem
To finally get your attention?
No, don't change the subject
I've got a few more things to say on this matter
I said, NO!
Don't change the fucking subject!
I've got a few more things to say on this matter
You're doing it again
You're forgetting about what I said
You make me feel so small when you do this
I've had plenty of time to think
And now I need to get all of this out
Just let me say what I need to get off my chest
It's your turn to listen
And my turn to share
Did you hear me?
Are you listening?
Did you read what I wrote?
Are you going to comment?
Please just say something
Just say something
Make me believe that you were listening
Make me think that you cared
Are you listening?
|
|
| What's Her Life For |
[18 Jan 2005|09:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"A Time To Be So Small" - Interpol |
] |
"What's Her Life For"
There is something missing
A void inside these walls
She walks the lonely streets of her own mind
Wondering exactly what life is for
She sees the smiling faces as she passes
They are dancing and swaying
To an unheard melody
She presses her face to the store windows
She wants to buy that life
She wants to have their fun
And not worry about the consequences
As she walks she stops in front of a TV screen
Sees herself in another world
She puts her hand to the screen
To try and feel what it might be like
To live that other life
To not care or worry
To just follow the crowd
Become mindless and numb
She just wants to have their fun
And not fell left out or ashamed
She stops her treading and falls to the ground
Now deep into darkness, somewhere in between
She ponders her existence and what her life really means
Would it be worth it to throw these things aside
Just for one night to fell like she's having a good time
Her mind it wonders and exaggerates
Through a library of emotions
She's lost and confused
And just wants to end it with just one slice
To close her eyes and submerge into never ending darkness
But that one hand always reaches out
And steals her away from being stuck in between
Then she slowly remembers what her life is really for
|
|
| Resurrecting Bruises |
[16 Jan 2005|06:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"With These Mistakes" - Drive By Romance |
] |
So, here is part four. I hope you enjoy it. Please, let me know what you think.
( Resurrecting Bruises )
♥
|
|
| What Happened |
[11 Jan 2005|03:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 okay |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"All We Ever Needed" - The Early November |
] |
"What Happened?"
Vision blurs when your stare to long
And your eyes begin to cross
Can't see a thing besides faded outlines
And a mass of forgotten shapes
It makes you feel alone
Like a reject in this world with no place to go
You label yourself worthless
With the scars you carry on your arms
And nothing ever goes right and you just don't understand
Your head is full of mixed emotions
A grab bag of sorts
They reach their hand in and what they get back is a surprise
Your explode with out a notice
And you're just to far behind the times
Go back a hundred years and find out who you really are
And you must learn to hold your tongue
Something has died inside your cracked heart
It's so cold and bitter
You could use it as a paper weight
What happened to the times you had a smile on your face
And every was great?
What happened to the times you almost knew who you were
And every aspect of your life was planed out and you didn't give it a second look?
What happened to the times when life meant more than anything
And you knew you were going to live out every single dream you ever had?
Forget all your past mistakes and memories
And wake yourself up
It's not the end...
It's not the end of everything you knew
Everything you loved
Everything you looked forward too
It's not the end of your life as you know it
It's not the end...
It's not the end...
They told me this wasn't the end
Wrote this in QRT today...it's probably not about who you think its about. Unless you are a smart cookie and figured out some of the parts...but I doubt you will unless your Graeme.
♥
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| Misconceptions |
[09 Jan 2005|07:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Staring at Backgrounds" - Before Today |
] |
"Misconceptions"
Let's keep our secrets
And talk behind each other's backs
Let's plan our parties
And get smashed
In the end we all had fun
No one got hurt, nothing was wrong
Right?
Wrong answer to an obvious question
You've taken this test before and passed
Now you've changed and every answer you mark
Is almost as wrong as your actions
But I'll hold my tongue this time
Cause we're all hypocrites till dawn
Let's forgot who we are
And toss all our morals away
Let's turn out backs on what we believed
And take back all our promises to ourselves
In the end it was all worth it
We didn't make a mockery of what we were
Right?
You did leave your mark
I almost thought I had someone to talk to
But I've got nothing else to say
I don't want my thoughts spilling out
Of my open mouth
But we can just forget this
Cause I'm old fashioned and bitter
Let's all go out and slit our throats
And make it the new fashion
Let's write our own obituaries
And laugh as they carry us in our caskets
Cause in the end it's all about dying
But you know we lived it up
Right?
I'll just say goodbye to everything I thought
We're all misguided in the end anyway
I'll leave my knives with you
And you can do what you please
Take a stab if you want
My back is turned now
It hurts less when I can't see your face
A small note: This isn't about anyone in particular, so please, no one get upset over it. If it does hurt anyone I apologize in advance because that's not its purpose.
|
|
| Wasted and Concerned |
[31 Dec 2004|04:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
discontent |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Last Breath" - Dont Look Down |
] |
"Wasted and Concerned"
Sometimes I sit here and wonder
If this is all worth fighting for
I'm just a spec
A stain on this rotating sphere
There are at least a thousand more people
Who would be better in my place
I can see it in your eyes
I'm a sucker
Cause I can't stand it when you pollute yourself
I guess I'm just a little too Catholic
A little too bitter and conservative
Maybe I'm just better standing over here
In the corner with out the lights
I won't deny a thing
You're the most important line in this storybook
I would slit my wrists
And watch myself bleed if it kept you happy
I'm a fool
And I worry too much
There is no doubt that we have different views
Just don't let them carry you away
Drink till you see the bottom of the bottle
But don't let it be your last
Take as many drags till the end of the filter
Just don't let it be your last breath
Don't let them carry you away
Please, just go out and have your fun with a healthy conscience
Just remember I'll be here when you return
With my eyes closed
And my hands folded tight
Wake me when it's over
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